Nik - I wanted to be an astronaut!
My early years
I still chuckle inside when people say to me, “It’s OK for you, you can be so positive because you have got everything you need. You don’t know what it is like to have to struggle all your life. You’re lucky.” Yes, in many ways I have been very lucky. I had loving parents who adored me and looked after me brilliantly. Their relationship was strong and mutually supportive and they were married for 53 years, until my father passed away in 2001. So yes, I was very lucky in that respect. Family life was great and I look back with fondness and appreciation for what should be considered a normal upbringing. Sadly it seems quite a rarity these days.
My father was a mill worker, who started work at 13 years of age. By attending night school and studying hard he progressed to the position of mill manager achieving well over 50 years’ service with the same employer. My parents raised my older brother and I in a modest two-bedroom terraced house in the town of Royton in the North of England. My father earned a reasonable wage, certainly enough to make sure we never went short; however, he could never really afford to be extravagant.
Even so, my dad was, and still is, one of the happiest people I have ever known. I now realise that he had discovered the secret of life: ultimate fulfillment. For him, that was a wife and family he loved, a job so close to home he could have lunch with his family, and a house that backed out onto the local park. (He used to joke that he had the biggest garden in Royton!)
Overcoming bullying and sickness
Until the age of 16, I went to an all boys’ grammar school where I excelled, despite the fact I was there only about 60% of the time, being absent for around 40% of the time through sickness. As early as I can remember, I suffered from severe eczema and I used to go to bed creamed and bandaged like an Egyptian mummy and wearing mitts to prevent myself from scratching.
As I reached about six years-old, the eczema began to improve but I developed asthma so badly that I was hospitalised on several occasions. I was on all kinds of steroid medications, various injections (which to date I don’t know what they were for) and antibiotics. I looked very pale and thin and for years I was medically supervised and attended hospital on a monthly basis to be weighed and measured as I was simply not growing. At school, I was the kid who wasn’t there that much and as a result of being different, I soon became bullied.
This bullying carried on until one day I remember thinking, “I’ve had enough of this” and hit one of the bullies back. I got a major beating in return, but undeterred I did this twice more until I was left alone. I realised soon after that it was easier for bullies to pick on someone who didn’t respond as like vultures they always want easy prey. This was a turning point in my life because I vowed I would make myself fitter and stronger so I would never be in that situation again and I could also assist anyone who was a victim of bullying.
My dad was always exercising because of his interest in bodybuilding or “physical culture” as it was called in those days, so there were weights and exercise equipment around the house. This was definitely a big influence on me. But quite literally the biggest influence was Arnold Schwarzenegger who became my first role model. This was back in 1977, when he was in the UK promoting his new film Pumping Iron. He was being interviewed on the Russell Harty Show and I was completely blown away by his awesome size and how amazing he looked. He made me realise that we are not governed by anything, even our physical size and like Arnie if we choose to do so then we can even defy nature.
I thought, “I want that too.” So the combination of never wanting to be bullied again and being focused on emulating this amazing man drove me on to weight train regularly ever since.
Cars cars cars!
Another passion of mine that I had from a very early age was a love of cars: Ferraris and Lamborghinis in particular. As a boy of 7, I remember asking my dad why he didn’t own a Ferrari and he told me that he didn’t want one. I just couldn’t understand it! How could anyone NOT want a Ferrari? I was really confused as I had no idea about this ultimate fulfillment thing he had going on.
For my eighth birthday I asked for a camera so I could go out in search of Ferraris and sports cars and take photos and see them “in the metal” so to speak. It was far more exciting than looking at pictures in a book. I could touch them and imagine what it would be like to drive one. I took photos of every super car I could find for years and accumulated pictures of every vehicle worth owning. The only one that eluded me was my ultimate super car: the Lamborghini Countach.
One day, an amazing thing happened. While taking a photograph of a Ferrari 400GT, the owner walked by. We not only chatted for ages, but he took me for my first ride in a Ferrari. I will never forget that, it was awesome, I wanted one! It was another life changing moment. Suddenly, the photographs had some reality. From that day on, I promised myself that whatever it took, I was going to own exotic cars. This passion became a motivating force in my life. In fact, the cars have quite literally driven me!
Aspirations and career beginnings
Against the odds, with my poor school attendance record due to ill health, I still managed to do well at school. So when I saw the school’s careers advisor, he probably expected me to say I wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer. I remember sitting there as he asked, “Well Speakman, what do you want to do?” “Sir, I want to be an astronaut.” There was a long silence before he replied sarcastically, “Speakman, both you and I know there are no space programs in the UK, so that’s a non-starter. What else do you want to do?” As I loved animals, I then suggested zookeeper.
The teacher said, “Speakman, be serious. The nearest zoo is Chester (about 60 miles away). How are you going to get there every day? Besides, that job is not just about having fun and looking at nice animals, there will be a lot of cleaning to do. Have you thought of that?” As pitiful as it was, that was the full extent of my careers advice. Talk about shattering your dreams!
My career path was actually a little more conventional as it turned out. After obtaining the necessary qualifications and experience while working for a bank and a finance company, I qualified as a financial adviser. I was really pushing things with my bodybuilding and most surprisingly to me, as I considered myself now to be very fit, I became very ill again and was hospitalised for three weeks. I was diagnosed with a severe case of ulcerative colitis, which I was informed was incurable. I was told that if the condition did not worsen that I may be able to keep it in remission with medication that I would then have to take for the rest of my life.
My battle with ulcerative colitis
However I needed to be prepared that if the ulcerative colitis didn’t stay in remission then I would require an operation to remove the ulcerated part of my colon and during the operation they would assess whether that would leave enough colon to function normally or whether they would have to remove it altogether and fit a colostomy bag! What a wake up call! I made a decision there and then that no one was going to cut me open, so in the short term I would take the medication religiously until such time that I discovered enough about this condition to control it, and my health with diet.
I soon discovered that my condition was mainly due to a combination of over-prescribed antibiotics as a child, which had not only killed whatever infection I had at the time, but had also destroyed all the good bacteria that is required for a healthy colon. I had also been following a so-called healthy bodybuilder’s diet from my late teens, which I now know was totally incorrect for my body’s chemical make up. The bodybuilder diet consisted of a large amount of milk mixed with milk and egg protein. Now here is the great news! I totally control my condition with healthy eating, Swamp Joose and exercise, WITHOUT the use of drugs, and yes I still have my colon fully intact!
Being hospitalised, facing time off work, and not wanting to relive my school days I decided to set up my own business. I had no idea how to start or become successful, so I began looking for answers. First, I asked an accountant for advice. Then I came across my first self help books: The Structure of Magic by Richard Bandler and John Grinder and Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins. After reading these books and subsequently many others, my initial reaction was, “If this stuff is so easy, then surely everyone would be doing it?”
Open Your Mind
But my defining moment was when I attended a seminar by Robin Fielder entitled Close That Sale. All the delegates were given a work book and Robin said, “Before you open your workbook, write on the front OPEN YOUR MIND.” I pretty much missed the whole seminar because of this one statement. My thoughts wandered and I spent the whole time mulling over his words. What did he mean? Why would anyone close their mind? How could that be possible? What was he talking about? This really got me thinking about new possibilities and searching for more answers.
In 1986, I did indeed set up my own business as a financial adviser. It began to grow, slowly but surely. I also became involved in estate agency and things started to get even better. In fact, everything was going successfully except my personal life. I now know that what you focus on is exactly what you get. As I had spent so much time focusing on my business and had neglected my relationship with a long time girlfriend, we had grown apart. This then resulted in us making each other unhappy and for a long time staying together for all the wrong reasons.
Meeting the love of my life
I loved America and Florida in particular, as I had vacationed there many times. During one visit I decided to go back and study for my Florida Real Estate License. When my relationship was over, I thought about going to Florida as an escape and possibly combining selling houses with a financial business. By this time, I had qualified as an estate agent on both sides of the ocean. Then my world suddenly changed. I met Eva the very day before I was due to go to the USA to discuss some of the fantastic business opportunities that were being created because of the growing market of Brits looking for second homes.
But while in Florida, I could not stop thinking about this gorgeous little blonde sales rep who had visited my office in England. During that three-week trip, I spent a lot of time on my own. I remember sitting on a beach in Sanibel one evening, with my mind on Eva and suddenly thought, “When I get married I would like it to be here.” Up to that point I had never thought about marriage at all! Yet this is exactly where Eva and I did eventually marry, five years later, on that very same beach. What an amazing example of the power of visualisation!
Finding our true calling
You might be thinking, yes but where does the life coaching come in? As I have reflected upon my life I now know that I have been coaching people throughout my career. All the time I was giving financial advice, I was thinking about my client’s future in the long term. It wasn’t just about getting them to sign up for the latest tax-saving scheme or finding the best mortgage deal.
The same thing applied when I was selling houses. I wanted the best for the people who came to see me and advised them (which was against the grain of thinking at the time) to invest in the most expensive house they could afford and get the maximum mortgage they could get, live in it a couple of years then sell it and do the same again until they lived in the house they really wanted, as any houses prior to that were merely, stepping stones. Not everyone took this advice, but the ones who did are very comfortably off and all own the houses that they always wanted, all those years ago!
I was always very interested in helping people, and I now recognise and firmly believe, that this is the main reason why I was put on this earth. Since reading my first self improvement books in 1986, my knowledge has escalated and grown. The more I discover about the human capabilities, the more I wish know. And the more I discover, the more I can share with others. I have now had the benefit of reading literally hundreds of books relating to self improvement, motivation and psychology. I have attended many seminars and been fortunate enough to have received training by many of the best people in the world, in their fields.
That said, I am still looking for answers and I continue daily on my quest, looking for new and exciting ideas to be able to assist people to change for the better, more quickly and easily than ever before. Eva and I still read an absolute minimum of one new book every month and we try and attend as many seminars and training courses as we can. In fact, we have attended some of them time and again as we firmly believe that repetition is the mother of skill.
Like watching your favourite movie repeatedly, there are always new things you notice. Plus we are reminded of great things that we already know but may have forgotten to use.
I have also realised that it is possible for people to close their minds. In fact they are more often closed than open! Practicing the art of having an open mind didn’t come easy to me, but when you do it numerous possibilities open up and things really do become easy! My initial skepticism disappeared when I accepted this. Then I looked back at my life and saw that on an unconscious level I had been practicing the stuff myself and furthermore, it had worked like magic!
Working closely with my soul mate Eva (who was then my wife) in our now thriving business, we considered new possibilities based upon extending the benefits of our lifestyle and outlook to others. In 1998 we opened a fitness centre to help people achieve better health as we had done. Very soon we found ourselves giving people guidance on other aspects of their lives as well as their health. With our combined knowledge, training and experience, we discovered that we were able to turn people’s lives around by tuning into their problems, fixing them and pointing them in the right direction.
The rewards I gained from seeing such big changes in people was just so incredible. Nothing could beat it. I realised that this was the reason why I was put on this earth. It was my passion and my destiny. I therefore embraced it with both arms and shouted, “World I’m Here!”
And that, as they say, is how it all began!
