Everyday Confidence - our ‘courage’ technique
Hi everyone, our book Everyday Confidence came out a couple summers ago and indeed went down a storm – landing on Tesco shelves throughout the country, plus achieving the number one spot on Amazon in Popular Psychology! Thanks so much to all of you for all the support and love you have showed for the publication. Just in case you never picked up the book, we wanted to share some great tips on how to help you increase your everyday confidence.
Our new book is absolutely crammed with information to help you feel more confident. What we have realised is when you lack confidence, not only does it hold you back in doing the things you really want to do (meeting people, socialising, saying what you really want to say), it also stops you asking for help – inhibiting you from achieving or feeling what you truly deserve in life. Everything that you do, and everything that you don’t do – starts with confidence!
This fantastic tip will enable you to become more confident, helping you to step outside of your comfort zone. A lack of confidence creates barriers in our life; this is a way to trick your brain to get rid of those barriers (in the moment) until you build your confidence up. What we would like you to do is think about the problem or task that holds you back, and sigh continually.
Step 1: Put your hands together into a “praying” position
Notice that the way you put your hands together here is how you would always do it if anyone ever asked you – as this is your comfort zone. However, the purpose of this technique and tip is to transform the “uncomfortable” into something that feels ok. So…
Step 2: Move your fingers one space forward
In order to make this happen, we need you to do something uncomfortable. Open your hands, break your fingers apart and then proceed to move your fingers all one position forward, to then clasp them back together. It most likely feels like you have gained an extra finger! It feels odd, it feels weird – it feels really uncomfortable.
Step 3: Go back to your original position
In order to check how much better the original position felt, put your hands back into that initial “comfort zone” arrangement.
However, we want you to step outside of your comfort zone and bolster that confidence – we want you to do things that you didn’t think were possible – we want you to stop feeling anxious!
Step 4: Go back to the uncomfortable position
Unfortunately once again, move your fingers all one space forward. Retain that thought or whatever it is holding you back in your head.
Now, this is where the magic begins!
Step 5: SIGH
Keeping your hands in the uncomfortable hand position the entire time, please count to three, and give a great, big sigh. One… Two… Three!
Now, we would like you to sigh again, but this time, allow your shoulders fully drop. One… Two… Three!
Okay, let’s sigh again – on this occasion, let your shoulders drop once more and additionally let your bottom sink into whatever chair you’re currently sitting in. One… Two… Three!
One last time, just for the hell of it. Everything drops, sink into that chair, let your arms relax down into your lap. One… Two… Three!
Now, here is the most amazing thing. Go back to your comfort zone arrangement, then revert back to the uncomfortable position, with your fingers one step forward. You may find that you notice… It feels exactly the same!
We naturally sigh when something is over. In effect, sighing acts as a psychological re-setter for our brain – we trick our brain into thinking that it’s over before it even starts, which gives you a psychological advantage. Just think about the problem or task that you’re dreading or making you feel uneasy and whilst sighing, you’re telling your brain that you’re okay with it. Ultimately it will make you to feel calmer.
Despite the noticeable feeling from our technique, scientific studies have shown that there is a clear connection between sighing and total relief. Self-reported relief following an instructed deep breath was higher than before, with physiological tension becoming greatly reduced following a spontaneous sigh.
Our book Everyday Confidence is available on Amaozn: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Speakmans-Key-Confidence-Nik-Speakman/dp/1841883255
